


Christmas Presents

by GokuGirl



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Christmas, Humor, M/M, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-12-21
Updated: 2001-12-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 23:10:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4411496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GokuGirl/pseuds/GokuGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Vegeta runs out of money for presents he has to find a way to make Bra happy. My 2001 Christmas fanfic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas Presents

**Christmas Presents** ****  
**or**  
"What Santa Does On His Day Off"

"And what do you want for Christmas little girl?" The mall Santa asked Bra as she sat on his lap. She smiled and pulled an extra long list from her pocket.

"I want a Patty Pees-A-Lot with extra clothes, a Malibu Stacy doll and her beach house, the Barbie mini mall, a puppy, a Power Wheels Barbie jeep..." The little girl went on and on and with every item her fathers winced.

"How much money do you have left for Christmas presents?" Vegeta asked his koibito. Goku frowned and he knew that it wasn't much.

"Three zenni." Vegeta groaned. "But we have all of Trunks and Goten's stuff."

"She's going to hate me for not getting her what she wants." Vegeta always hated to disappoint his little princess. "You'll be her father and I'll just be the man that shares your bed."

"Calm down, Veggie-chan. It's not that bad. Bra will understand."

But Vegeta wasn't calmed and he would do anything to prevent her from being sad. Watching his little girl talk to the man that played Santa Claus gave him an idea. After telling Goku that he was going to the bathroom and would meet them at the entrance, he slipped off and went to the mall information booth. There he found a way to get Bra everything that she wanted.

***

Vegeta held it up and turned it in several different directions but just couldn't figure out what it was exactly. It was all completely in the color green. So he decided to ask, "What the hell is this?"

The lady smiled and said cheerfully, "An elf costume!"

"I am not being a damn elf!" Even as he said this, he picture Bra's tear-streaked face in his mind. Sighing he gave in. "Where do I go to put this on?"

"Third cubicle on the left."

Vegeta emerged dressed in green tights, a dark green tunic belted at the waist that came to mid-thigh, green shoes with bells on the toes and a floppy green hat that also had a bell. Everytime he took a step he jingled. "I sound like a damn sleigh."

But the woman didn't hear. She was busy staring at Vegeta. "You have very nice legs. Not skinny like the rest of the elves." She tried to peek under the tunic and he slapped her hand away.

"There's nothing under there for you," he said. He exited through the door and was assaulted by the noise of all the people in the mall. There were tons of parents bringing their kids to see Santa and even more people shopping for Christmas presents. The cheap people were anyway. The Week Before Christmas sales had begun the day before. He would only get paid on Christmas Eve and would have to shop and wrap his presents that same day.

The Elf On Duty gave him the bag of candy canes and pointed to the line of fifty or so small children. "You give each one a candy cane when they come through this gate to see Santa." Then he smirked and took of his hat. "Have fun."

"I hope you get hit by a bus," Vegeta muttered.

"What was that?"

"Merry Christmas!"

He had been standing on his feet for two hours. Even a saiya-jin gets tired eventually. Vegeta yawned as he handed candy to another little brat.

"Are you a real elf?" the little boy asked. Vegeta bent down to his level.

"Are you a real brat?" The boy's foot came up and hit him between the legs. Tears sprang to Vegeta's eyes and he squeaked out, "I guess that's a hai."

"Oliver!" His mother gasped in embarrassment. "Apologize to the nice little elf!"

" 'Little elf'?" he asked, his voice still slightly high. "I am not little! Especially not where it counts." The woman gasped again and then smacked him.

"Come on, Oliver. I don't want you around this perverted elf any longer."

"Hey onna! I hope your kid chokes on that candy cane!" Vegeta yelled at her and continued to hand out candy to the rest of the little kids. His first work day was almost over. Thank kami.

"Papa! You're about to drown in your soup!" Trunks caught his father's head just before it was about to take a dip into his bowl. "I've never seen you sleepy. It's weird."

"It can't be because you stayed up late last night," Goten observed. "You were fine this morning."

"I'm fine now," Vegeta mumbled as his eyes began to close again. "Just let me rest for a while...." Trunks moved the bowl just in time and Vegeta fell asleep with his head on the kitchen table. The two boys looked at each other and stepped toward his limp body in unison.

"We can't just leave him down here," Trunks whispered. "And Goku-san's not home yet."

Goten sighed. "We're gonna have to carry him upstairs aren't we?" Without waiting for an answer, he moved the table away and kneeled down to lift Vegeta's legs. Together Trunks and Goten carried him to his room and tucked him into bed. The short saiya-jin was still asleep and the two boys tip-toed out to keep it that way.

"Goodnight, Papa."

"Goodnight, Veggie-ojisan."

The door closed gently and Vegeta slept until noon the next day.

***

There was a new Santa that took over for the remainder of the days before Christmas. Vegeta hadn't even spoke to him but he seemed to have a natural talent with the kids. The pictures that were taken were always of smiling, happy children. Vegeta could only make them cry.

"Merry Christmas!" he said to yet another little kid. He stopped when he realized that she already had a candy cane. "Where'd you get that from?" She pointed at him without saying a word. "You already saw Santa?" She nodded. "Then why are you in line?"

"He didn't listen to my entire list!" she said. "I want him to listen!"

"I'm sure Santa will be happy to listen." She unfolded a list that was at least six feet long. "But not to that. There's other little brats that have to see him too, you know."

She began to kick him in the leg with each word. "I! Want! Him! To! Listen!"

Vegeta dropped his bag to the ground and picked up the little girl who continued to kick him, now with both of her legs. He took her to the end of the line and deposited her on the floor. "You're going to stay here. If you want Santa to listen you have to be last."

"I DON'T WANNA BE LAST!"

"TOUGH, YOU LITTLE BRAT! YOU'RE GOING TO STAY AT THE BACK OF THE LINE OR YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SEE SANTA AT ALL! AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR?!" His face was turning red with the combination of yelling and frustration.

She shut up and nodded meekly. "Crystal."

Patting her on the head instead of strangling her like he really wanted to do, Vegeta returned to his place at the head of the line only to discover that his candy cane bag was gone.

"DAMN IT!"

Quitting time found him still in his elf suit trying to meditate to calm himself. He had been so close to strangling half-a-dozen kids that anger rose every time he saw one. "I'm doing this for Bra," he said quietly to himself and he repeated over and over again until he was calm. Going over to the locker where he stored his clothes, his started to change when he sensed someone behind him.

"Can I help you?"

The person leaned in close enough that he was able to feel their breath on his ear. "Actually, I was wondering how I could help *you*."

Vegeta turned around and came face-to-face with Santa Claus. He narrowed his eyes and asked, "How could you help me?"

The man's dark eyes twinkled and he said in a low voice, "In many different ways."

"Sorry, but I've got someone and I don't screw someone I just met." He finished changing and shut the door. "Ever." He pushed past Santa and exited the room.

"Too bad," he said. "We could have had lots of fun."

***

The rest of the week flew by until it was finally Christmas Eve. Both Vegeta and Goku had to work so Bra was being baby-sat by her two brothers. Trunks and Goten weren't terrible babysitters but they weren't the best either. Vegeta came home first and kissed her on the forehead before he went into the kitchen for a meal.

"Papa, where you go every day?" The two-year-old asked him. She climbed onto the chair across from him at the table and stared at her father.

"Um," he hesitated, trying to find something to say. "I go someplace important. *Very* important."

"Oh," she continued to stare while he fixed his meal. "Does Goku-tousan go with you? He leaves home too."

This made Vegeta pause. "Kakarotto leaves the house?"

"Every day after you leave Goku-tousan leaves too. Trunks told me that he had a job."

Vegeta thought and finally figured out why the Santa's eyes looked so familiar. 'I stare into those same eyes all the time...' He started to laugh and couldn't stop. Soon he was gasping for air and Bra was asking if he was okay. "I'm fine, Bra-chan," he said when he could speak. "I just thought of something funny."

She nodded and went upstairs to play. She couldn't figure out adults no matter how hard she tried.

Later, when the house was dark and the cookies and milk for Santa was sitting on a table in the living room, Bra tip-toed down the hall on her way downstairs to wait for Santa. As she was passing her fathers' bedroom she paused and heard something that made her go immediately to get Trunks. Both he and Goten groaned in complaint when she flicked the light on but they got serious when Bra told them that something was wrong. So all three kids went to their fathers' bedroom door and pressed their ears into it.

"Sounds like someone's dying in there," Goten muttered. Then he realized what he said and blushed. "Uh Trunks..."

Bra just couldn't let someone or something kill her papa and her Goku-tousan. She opened the bedroom door, flicked on the light, and faced the monster. Her eyes widened instead and she screamed out, "SANTA'S TRYING TO KILL PAPA!"

"More like make him limp for a while," Trunks muttered so that only Goten could hear. Both boys quickly left the doorway and went back to their room. Bra was left standing there with her mouth open as Goku took off the fake beard and cap and quickly she became confused.

"Bra-chan, it's time we had a talk..."


End file.
